I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
