Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
