Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
