We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Of course I have a pirate flag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
