so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
