i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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