I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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