listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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