Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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