Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
