Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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