your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
