Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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