I seem to have left my pride at pride
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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