Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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