Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
