You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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