I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
