The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
