Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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