I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize