??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
