i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Two words: blizzard sex
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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