Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He passed out mid-signature
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
