have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
