Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
