no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
