i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize