Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
