Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
