she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
