I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize