if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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