I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's the barista slut.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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