i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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