let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
