I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was born a porn star she said
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
