Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
