and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize