Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
