Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
