There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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