glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
