it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
