So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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