scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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