Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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