I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
