she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
