I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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