I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize