i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?