and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
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Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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