Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux