so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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