Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
