Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.

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  (904): 5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal. http://tfl.nu/ja8n
  Replies (25) Good night (2985) Bad night (650)
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  (805): View more from California

  my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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  (805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi
  Replies (43) Good night (1422) Bad night (14359)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

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  (904): Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened. http://tfl.nu/0eyi
  Replies (10) Good night (940) Bad night (5281)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.

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  (404): The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/retd
  Replies (42) Good night (5888) Bad night (1333)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

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  (253): Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style. http://tfl.nu/lnre
  Replies (30) Good night (10835) Bad night (1080)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.

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  (513): Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this. http://tfl.nu/ipvr
  Replies (8) Good night (3173) Bad night (1052)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now

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  (401): 5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now http://tfl.nu/dpww
  Replies (18) Good night (2215) Bad night (1755)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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  (718): you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke. http://tfl.nu/vku6
  Replies (13) Good night (2914) Bad night (1159)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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  (208): Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable. http://tfl.nu/h9sq
  Replies (7) Good night (1841) Bad night (628)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?

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  (918): What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else? http://tfl.nu/xvvc
  Replies (5) Good night (933) Bad night (459)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

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  (215): she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/hoyt
  Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (665)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse

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  (301): "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse http://tfl.nu/r0b8
  Replies (9) Good night (727) Bad night (672)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.

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  (309): They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault. http://tfl.nu/0avq
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (337)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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  (914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (610)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.

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  (+44): Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in. http://tfl.nu/ixni
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (211)

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