These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.