Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
