Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
