eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
