I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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