I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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