I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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